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Liking

The sixth and final letter from the ASSCURL acronym for persuading is Liking.

People say, "Yes" to people they like. They look for similarities. People will consider you a friend if you tell them a secret. Start small to make sure it remains a secret.

If there is one thing you learn about liking, remember this. Think about what you dislike about someone and always do the opposite. To detect a dislike you must listen to your feelings. Whenever you get angry, hateful, jealous or whatever negative emotion, think about what caused this feeling. The same is true for positive emotions. If someone makes you feel good, then identify what caused this. Track this in your persuasion notebook.

This takes some practice but the feeling is the key. Keep asking yourself, "Do I do this behavior?" Focus on this technique for a week. Set an alarm or remind yourself to analyze the feeling.

I had a bad habit of criticizing people. Because of my nature as a problem solver, I'm always looking for solutions. Most people don't want you to solve their problem. The funny thing is when someone does ask me for help with a problem, I often don't help them.

The computer code for this is:
  1. Event occurs or message received
  2. What is the feeling?
  3. If positive then copy this
  4. If negative then don't do this
Some elements to liking are covered throughout this book.
When you can get someone to like you they're easier to persuade.

Some methods are:
  • Compliments especially Subtle Compliments
  • Never Criticize
  • Showing interest
  • Active Listening
  • Build Rapport through mirroring aka isopraxis

    Then there are things you can do to annoy people. This will make it harder to persuade them.
  • Poor hygene
  • Making too much noise
  • Excluding people
  • Complaining
  • Interrupting
  • Talking behind people's back
  • 21.You seem like a nice person. What do you think of someone who takes up to much room
    36.I enjoy the taste of something and someone says "that tastes like playdough"
    48.Treating smart people as stupid
    7. Mirroring (Isopraxis)
    110. 13 things I dislike about Olga
    25. Don't make fun of people
    3. Persuade Like Hitler
    109. 7 ways to increase tips from like switch
    19.Boasting
    59. Smart people are disliked
    39. Delays
    44.Humiliation
    22.isis, persuade like
    33. Embarrassing your boss or co-worker
    31.Deprival Super Reaction Syndrome
    56.I don't like super-hero movies. What if person loves them?
    111.I will vs. I'll probably, I'd like to, I'll take a look, I might, I'll try, I should🔝
    14. Criticizing
    85.like getting compliments
    32.Give Credit
    75.It's your job to present exactly how you'd like to work togeter and the specific benefit of doing so
    37.Taking/Giving credit for others work
    9. Pacing and Leading
    12. Disagree with someone's idea
    42.No "Hello"
    69.https://www.getabstract.com/en/summary/career-and-self-development/how-to-make-people-like-you-in-90-seconds-or-less/9888?u=bac
    99.So if you're an X and you're trying to decide Y in the old days without an internet you couldn't organize like you can now with social media
    15. Rude
    94.Do you consider yourself adventurous and like to try new things
    51.Treating smart people like they're stupid
    41."I" vs. "you" make sure you're not singing "me, me, me me"
    43.Pointing outs someones flaws increases their dislike of you
    79.People don't liked to be laughed at
    66.People don't like being around negative people
    98.I have a thought experiment in there about abortion and it goes like this...
    62.Ask for a favor - Ask someone who dislikes you for a favor and they will like you
    49.Noticing a negative behavior and saying "Boy you're lazy" or some other negative
    104.we liked being liked
    24.Really! You don't know that?
    92.Reciprocation can overcome a dislike for the requestor
    10.Listening
    64.The facts don’t matter. Facts never matter. What matters is that the “crazy racist” label picked up enough confirmation bias to stick like tar
    8. Humor/comedy
    97.Cause they're always a little bit more mature, doesn't it feel like that consistently more mature"
    95.There can't be all this smoke without any fire but the media is creating the smoke as far as I can tell it looks like fake smoke (scratches head)
    30.Micro manager
    54.6 Brilliant Tools to Make You Look like a Pro Landlord
    16.Disliking
    2.The Like Switch
    80.dress like your audience when giving a speech
    52.Think before you speak. Will this increase or decrease liking
    77."It sounds like you're emotional about this vs.
    57.Try to get someone to dislike you
    5. Compliments (g)
    83.People say yes to those they like
    67.Get your boss to like you better than the other employees on the team
    101.Meaning all his preferences for policies and the way he'd like the world to be is based on a high level of empathy
    72.Rather than trying to figure out why you are like that or why you struggle, focus on identifying 3 behaviousrs that could change that problem even if you don't understand why
    17.Small talk
    20.Establish commonalities
    47.What time are we meeting them? 5:30 like you said
    96.because China is willing to wait 400 years for something to develop. (talks as if china) I like where this is heading 400 yrs is good enough.
    35.Never delay your boss when asked to do something, Never make them wait I'll be there in 5 minutes... is bad
    53.You should..
    6.Did you ...
    100.I'm saying today if X went away it would look like Y
    50.That's a really good idea vs. You're idea sucks
    29.Know it all
    93.As the extreme persuader I do a high ground maneuver "If this looks like a meltdown you must be frightened by everything you see
    81.What would it be like if..
    89.Say commands so it doesn't sound like you're bossing people around
    38.Don't embarrass your boss in front of their bossWork -
    76.Law of the Universe: People are 6x more likely to make a deal with someone they like.
    61.If you're watching on Youtube, hit the like button and subscribe
    74.You've helped me out so much that I'd like to return the favor. If there's anything you need help with just let me know
    78.It sounds like you're passionate about this"
    34.People crave praise
    27. Mocking people
    23.Trump, persuade like
    1. The Like switch has a method to determine if someone is lying
    90.Out linear minds do not like nuances and reduce the infomration to the binary "harmful" or "helpful"
    107.Rules for getting leader to like and promote you
    70.If you'd like to be added to the waiting list, enter your information below, and you'll be the first to know when we open more seats. -- Ramit
    91.The rule for reciprocity was so strong that it simply overwhelmed the influence of a factor—liking for the requester—that normally affects the decision to comply.
    11.Talking too much about yourself
    82. Strategies to be more likable
    102.names like dept of defense vs. dept. of war
    68.Be likable, friendly, smile
    73.What is it you struggle with or don't like about yourself?
    84.like similar
    105.same tribe, acts like us, a relative
    26.Talking at too low a level to someone can be insulting
    106.Nothing drasws a crowd like a crowd
    65.Picture just what your life would be like if you had thousands of subscribers on your mailing list.
    4. steps to persuading like learning to juggle
    13. Talking behind people's back
    63.Use "very much appreciated" vs. "really appreciated" (sounds like a lie say "really"
    45.What are feelings like feeling sick (g)
    28.Yelling
    40.Getting someone to open up
    58.Snarky
    86.like cooperation to mutual goals
    88.… is how comfortable you are with yourself, most people aren't like that
    103.Seeing people more increases liking
    71.the stories most likely to make headlines are THE ONES LEAST LIKELY TO BE TRUE
    87.We are Asian. Like you.”
    108.I call Bill Love Mr. Bill trying to be funny and sense he doesn't like it. I don't like ppl saying beam me up scotty
    18.Things in common
    60.Ellen DeGeneres Jokes to get likability
    55.Warning someone about a behavior that they believe helps them
    46.Spitting while talking (g)